Es Ist, Was Es Ist
by vanillalilac
Summary: Inspired by my version of the German poem of the same name. Minerva writes her notes very quickly in Transfiguration, leaving plenty of time to daydream...


In German I had to write my own version of this poem, which then inspired this story. Minerva writes her notes very quickly in Transfiguration, leaving plenty of time to daydream…

Es ist was es ist

_It is completely wrong/says society/It is what it is/says my heart/It is madness/says the voice in my head/It is nothing but trouble/says reason/It is enjoyable/says laughter/It is what it is/says my heart/It is sunshine/says depression/It is backtracking/says ambition/It is existing/says reality/It is what it is/says my heart_

Successfully copying down the last of her notes with a flourish, Minerva allowed Professor Dumbledore's voice to wash over her. She remembered one day - they were walking down the corridor talking. It was Professor Dumbledore's free period and her class had been cancelled or she wouldn't have been able to talk to him then. She couldn't remember the exact details of their conversation but knew it had ended too soon. Before long he was at the door to the staff room. In that split second that she knew he would be leaving, she longed to somehow prolong the conversation but couldn't think of anything quick enough. Besides, if she had it would surely be about some unrelated topic and he would realize something was up. Instead she made to keep walking in the direction she was facing - headed nowhere. He crossed behind her and for a moment she was almost sure he was going to put his hand on the small of her back - she could feel her muscles tense in anticipation…but his hand only ghosted over it before he said his goodbyes and left.

Come to think of it, what had they been talking about? It seemed like after the fact she could never remember their random conversations. But that wasn't odd right?

A few months after that day, there actually was physical contact between her and Professor Dumbledore. They were talking in his office and as she was leaving it, he was behind her - following her out. While saying goodbye he actually put his left hand on her left shoulder. It was only a moment - she was sure she had dreamt it. But it happened. She quickly turned and walked away. After all, it wouldn't do for him to see the silly smile plastered on her face.

Then, a while after THAT, she had gone to his classroom after his class had ended to talk about _something_…no, she didn't have his class that day but had to find some reason to talk to him. They got to the point where they were just standing in the doorway of the classroom talking. He suggested to head down to his office to finish talking and proceeded to PUT HIS HAND AROUND HER SHOULDERS to lead her out into the corridor. She was glad he was standing slightly behind her or he would have seen shock, amazement, and _dare she say _pleasure plainly inscribed on her face in that split second of unpreparedness.

All of that didn't actually _mean_ anything though right? Could she possibly have a crush on her Transfiguration professor?! If any notion outside of her thoughts even knew she was considering that, they would commit her to St. Mungo's immediately! Among many other improprieties, he was vastly older! Not even a typical young attractive teacher that all the girls fancied. Yet she, the brightest witch of her year, would even contemplate putting a hold on her career after school in order to stay close to him.

He was…distinguished though. She liked how older men were more mature and able to talk about real issues - like the war with Grindewald - instead of the pointless frivolity that was discussed among her peers. Then there was the way he would sometimes look at her, and talk…almost like flirting..no! What was she thinking?! When class was over would she go up and say, "Excuse me Professor, sometimes I think you're flirting with me when we talk and I think I have a crush on you." Or, better yet, she could just go up and kiss him on her way out!

"…" Startled out of her reverie, Minerva realized that Professor Dumbledore had just dismissed the class. Students were packing up their books and starting to leave, some stopping to say a few words to him or ask a question about the homework. Minerva quickly gathered her things and hurried out. She couldn't stay back to talk to him like she usually did. Not that day. She was vulnerable.

Society, reality, and even herself may say she's completely crazy. She may deny her feelings should anyone even hint at the possibility of them existing. One thing made her continue with all of this though - the talking, the fantasizing, the acknowledgement. At these moments, she could hear her heart whispering, "It is what it is."

The End

_Es ist vollständig falsch/sagt die Gesellschaft/Es ist was es ist/sagt mein Herz/Es ist Wahnsinn/sagt die Stimme in mein Kopf/Es ist nicht als Ärger/sagt die Vernunft/Es ist angenehm/sagt Lachen/Es ist was es ist/sagt mein Herz/Est ist Sonnenschein/sagt Niedergeschlagenheit/Es ist Backtracking/sagt Ehrgeiz/Es ist vorhanden/sagt Realität/Es ist was es ist/sagt mein Herz_


End file.
